The past few months I have mostly been travelling solo. I set off on my journey, just me, prepared to enjoy my own company and embrace the laxity that being solo would allow me. Doing what I feel like doing whenever I felt like doing it, completely free from expectations, feelings and the needs of another. It was all about chasing freedom, getting clear on my own intentions and learning to be flexible with my plans and my life. Open to who I would meet and where I would eventually end up…
Solo, for me, gives you permission to prioritise you! It allows you to embrace an invigorating wild and free sense of being: a style of living I have wanted to embody as long as I can remember!
Finally, on this trip, I can state that I feel the wild + free spirit awake and thriving through my veins. I am more alive and present in every moment than I honestly can ever remember being before in my entire life. Moving freely from place to place. Staying still when I find a little slice of paradise. Taking my time, moving to my own rhythm and prioritising all the things that I know I need to keep myself balanced and grounded: meditation, yoga, exercise, good food and budget living. And, all whilst learning new skills, in new and familiar places. Skills I never thought I was ‘cool’ enough to do before! An absolute load of bollocks, now I’m here doing it and looking back on old thoughts with a smile on my face… haha!
In India, I embrace my yogi self. I pushed boundaries and with it learnt more about myself than I knew was possible. Yoga training pushed me to open my heart again, to be vulnerable and to let go of certain limitations that I have let govern my existence for far too long. Sri Lanka, was always going to be about surfing. About facing fears and learning to let go and trust the process.
I have spent a lot of my life pleasing. Holding on to the pains of my past and letting them define me, giving away my power and my courage. Surfing, the process of riding the waves and moving with nature and its natural rhythm (not against it), is and continues to teach me to let go and to trust not only in myself but, to feel and move with forces beyond my control in all areas of my life. The more I let go in the water, the stronger and more confident I get on the waves, the stronger and more alive I feel in my life. The more I believe in myself and the life I have truly started to finally embody.
Travelling solo makes you reach out and be vulnerable. It pushes you to move out of your comfort zone. It’s a gift. A means to trust again. A way of meeting like-minded people who show you kindness, love, share and respect your dreams, and vice versa.
Sure, there is another side to it all. Being solo on the road, can be tiring. And of course, at times it can be lonely. Constantly on the move with no one to share and look back on these life shaping experiences with. But, in all honesty, I think being comfortable alone and having the tenacity to work hard and strive for your goals solo, makes us stronger, wiser and prepares us for life’s miracles, when things truly do start to fall into place. I am no longer defined by my past and instead gut wrenchingly excited about every moment I can spend living in the now.
I can say with complete wholehearted honesty, I know myself more. I know who I am, what I embody and my true nature. I can see how my life needs a new direction and I have the tools to make those changes. Change is needed and how I get there still is not clear but for the first time, both in the water and on land, emotionally, physically and spiritually, I am finally letting go, one small step at a time. Where I end up, who knows. Who cares. I’m full of real joy and that’s my transformation.
Sure, solo can be tough. Life can be tough.
This post is dedicated to all the incredible solo travellers I have meet along my way and will continue to meet. You continue to inspire me, teach me and spur me along. To name just a few: Alannah, Vanessa, Giora, Maggi, Ciara, Melissa, Imogen, David Diego and the rest of team Schmerz…
Huge love + Namaste to you all