There is an old school of thought that people travel to find themselves. It suggests all the travellers out there, exploring the wonders of the world, are lost! An idea that always makes me chuckle a little (I’ll explain why below)…
For me personally, it couldn’t be further from my truth. I am in no way lost or missing and let’s be honest, who we truly are is always right there in our hearts and souls. We simply stop listening and get taken by the currents of our lives until one day we realise something just isn’t right. We don’t recognise the reflection in the mirror and we have no idea what happened to our joy, to our passions and the dreams we embodied.
My journey is about being ME. About getting back to the me that wakes up every morning excited about my day: the adventures to be had, the people I will meet, the food, the laughter, the surprises and lessons to be learnt. It’s about learning to fall in love with myself and my life again. Reconnecting to the me who dreams of living by the ocean, who wants nothing more than to sacrifice the financial security of a full-time career for a simple life of yoga, meditation and waves. The me who doesn’t care if I’m the best surfer in the water, as long as I’m in the ocean. The me, who wants to be interested in learning, curious, playful and creative.
My life so far has seen me devote years to building a career, with absolutely no regrets. I’ve met incredible people and had sensational experiences. Yet, every choice I have ever made, every action and reaction has led me here to where I find myself today. Sat in Zest in Palolem, India writing this blog before I fly to Sri Lanka. I can honestly say, sat here writing, I am happier than I ever was living in the city, working long hours and sacrificing time away from those I love and the things that embody the woman I truly am. I may not know the exact destination I am heading too, but by no means am I lost. I’m simply surrendering and letting life lead me. I trust the energies that guide us, my instincts and my intuition. I am excited about building new chapters, truly starting to let go of the limitations that come with strict routines and conforming to other people’s expectations. Sat here, I have the freedom and space to embrace being Wild + Free, open to life and all its glorious opportunities.
Recently I have come to understand that surrendering the loves we have lost and the pain we have let define us, is a vital a part of new beginnings. When we let go, we create space to forgive. We clear away the debris of our past and thus create space to sow the seeds for all the incredible miracles and things to come.
I have spent so much time, energy and money trying to fix things. To fix people, to fix myself, to help and care about everyone apart from myself. Using this time to reflect, I now see that what I really needed to do was stop and allow myself the space and time to contemplate and be more self aware. To go inwards to encourage self acceptance. My ego for far too long has kept me focused on a need to be ‘interesting’ to those on the outside. When all along I just needed to be ‘interested’ in life and its mystery.
Tomorrow is the start of my next chapter on this adventure. I am heading to Sri Lanka having completed the yoga part of this exploration (my yoga training and exploring its hertiage) and now part two has arrived. A whole chapter of my life to be devoted to surf, relaxation and daily mediation. A period to cement new daily healthy, grounding routines as the foundations for my life of joy.
Sudhir, our inspiring philosophy teacher at Sampoorna Yoga, repeatedly articulated that joy is our true nature. I believe him. I believe joy is the true nature of each and every one of us. As my final closing words, I invite you to make time to reflect. Ask yourself what stops you living in this joy? To do this it may help to write a list of:
· What brings you joy?
· What doesn’t or where don’t you feel joy in your life?
Compare the two and ask yourself what do you need to let go of to make joyful changes? What stops and limits you from making these changes?
My time travelling has given me the space to dig deep and begin letting go of what once limited me. To stop overthinking and replaying scenarios over and over in my mind, punishing myself for loves lost, failures and blocking my own joy.
I am lucky enough to have people in my life who love and support me. That is my greatest achievement. Travelling is simply a way for me to be the best person I can be, to love more than I ever knew was possible and to be truly alive and present.
So this is why I chuckle…. I’m not lost, I’m finally exactly where I should be. Full of joy, curiosity, self-acceptance and interested in who I am and what I have to give.